Hey Reader!

Ok so I know this is a BIG call, but there is one thing I ALWAYS stand by when it comes to parenting or motherhood...

It has COMPLETELY changed me from being anxious that people are judging me, to knowing that I am just fine in who I am.

And that advice is this:

You are *never* going to feel like a perfect mother for more than maybe 5 minutes per month – max – and the moment we learn to embrace (and accept) imperfect parenting, everything becomes better.

And in fact, I remember when I had my first child, Daniel. I was so caught up every day on not being “perfect” that I was doing my own head in, and being caught in that loop of self-hate was making it even harder to parent the way I wanted.

Next came Zoey, not even 12 months later. But a girl this time. She could NOT be more different from Daniel. But I swear they're best friends.

About 8 years later, comes Scout. A boy that I thought would be a girl so we called the baby bump "Scout" for months until we learned otherwise. At that point, however, it was just weird trying to call him anything other than "Scout."

And the way I parent Scout at now-6-years-old is much different from how I parented Daniel and Zoey when they were 6 year olds.

Our life, our personalities, our marriages, even our beliefs, evolve over time. So it makes sense that our parenting would evolve just as well.

And while I did embrace some things, I also let a lot of things go. For instance, I learned to have so much more patience and understanding with a really, really, REALLY excited kid instead of getting upset and aggravated with him for "interrupting my peace."

I learned to take myself out of the equation a lot of time with my parenting. No way can our kids understand our 40-year-old feelings. They can barely understand their own!

And even though I did do a lot of explaining "why" (so much more than my mother everrrrr did with me), I was more interested in my explaining it to them than them understanding it. Did I explain it right? Should I tell them this way instead? Rather, I should have been more attuned to watching their receptive mannerisms in understanding and comprehending what it was I was telling them in the first place! The whole point of even doing that.

As you can see, lots and lots of things I did then that I don't do now. But also a lot of things that I didn't do then that I do now, for this go round.

For instance, I used to separate us in my mind. Like, kids are kids and parents are parents. Now hear me out...

When I was growing up, I was in the generation where kids were seen and not heard. Where we spent all hours of the day outside playing so that I would be out from under my mom, and I did NOT do any kinds of fun projects with my mom. She rarely had the time of day for me and my sisters growing up - not to bark at her (because I completely understand she had her own trauma to work through) but that's just how it was. Not very many heart-to-hearts. Maybe 2 times a year, MAYBE.

So that's all I knew when I was raising Daniel and Zoey. Granted, at the time, I was (also) a single mom and worked all day and so the kids were in daycare all day. I barely got to converse with them during that time. My biggest gripe was not even able to spend any quality time with them.

But now? I spend SO MUCH TIME having conversations with my littlest one! So much so that the mom guilt tends to creep in from time to time about not having convos with me oldest two when they were 6. However, I now have super great conversations with Daniel and Zoey as teenagers.

Just being more present.

That's what I'm doing now in my parenting. That's how it's evolved over time.

So this is your reminder today – that imperfect parenting is the perfect way forward.

And you can start to achieve this by:

You learn yourself.

You pivot yourself.

You adapt yourself.

You forgive yourself.

And then you live yourself.

Resources You May Like

And if you need more support on embracing imperfect parenting? These additional resources may help you:

And for your own Beauty For Ashes journey (blog post + Bible lesson):

Have you had struggles with past and present parenting before? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear your experience or help in any way I can and my inbox is always open to chat.

xo,
Richie

AND PS - If you need more of a consistent support system with pivoting parenting and homeschooling?

​Then join our Homeschool & Humor Tribe Community (off Facebook!) for free.​